A Sample of

Antagonize Me

by T.L Smith

 

Copyright 2015 TL Smith
All Rights Reserved

This book is a work of fiction. Any references to real events, real people, and real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places and incidents are products of the Author’s imagination and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, organisations or places is entirely coincidental.
All rights are reserved. This book is intended for the purchaser of this e-book ONLY. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any information storage retrieval system, without the express written permission of the Author. All songs, song titles and lyrics contained in this book are the property of the respective songwriters and copyright holders.

WARNING

This e-book contains sexually explicit scenes and adult language and may be considered offensive to some readers.

Dedication

This book goes to my grandfather, who loved me like no one ever could.
Who showed me how I should be loved.
Who will always be in my heart no matter what time or day it is.
He is a fixture. And not a day goes by that the thought of you leaves me.
He believed I could do anything, that the world was my oyster.
And for that, I give you this oyster.
And hopefully so many more.
RIP, Granddad.

They say dreams are a powerful thing, that our imagination is a powerful thing. And that sometimes all you have to do is dream big, or imagine big, to get what you want. To strive for what you want.
I dream big. My grandfather taught me to do so. The world is my oyster and yada yada. I never believed him, though maybe I should have. Maybe, just maybe, I should have dreamed and imagined bigger for myself. Maybe I could have taken a different path if my dreams were bigger if I imagined bigger.
Though sometimes we have no choice to, sometimes life takes us in the direction it thinks we should have been in. The life that is our path.
I don’t believe my life took the right path, some of it was great and some of it was hard.
I always tried to dream a little, maybe that was my downfall. I dreamed, but I didn’t dream big enough.
Shoot for the stars, he would say to me. Dream as big as the ocean, you can do anything you want, anything. Just imagine you can and your possibilities are endless.
So that’s what I am going to do, dream as big as the ocean, imagine like the sky above. No one can stop me.

part 1

The way he touches her hair makes me envious. The way he kisses her lips makes me wish they were my lips. The way his hand brushes across her cheek makes me mad.
Why can’t I have him? I want him so bad.
His short dark hair, his athletic body that I know would sculpt to me so perfectly. If… if… he wasn’t with her! Her, the blonde bombshell of our school. The one that all girls try to be that they envy. With her perfect hair and her perfect teeth. Her perfect face that has never seen a bad day in her life.
Seriously, all women get pimples. But no not her, not the perfect, ever-loving beautiful, Katrina. She has it all, everything I’ve ever wanted. Well, mainly the heartthrob of our school. Who is now tracing kisses down her neck for all to see. She giggles in response and I can’t take it anymore, I have to leave before I throw something at them. Arghh.
Just as I get up to leave, Katrina’s hand stops me. I try to plaster a smile as I turn to face her. I do, I really do.
“You aren’t leaving, are you?” she asks, looking up at me with her perfect teeth. I instantly look behind her and stare at Tanner. I don’t mean to, but I like watching his facial expressions. His aqua green eyes shoot to mine and he smiles softly, showcasing his perfectly white teeth.
“Yes, I have class,” I lie. I can’t sit here any longer. She pulls her bottom lip out like she’s sad and I half-smile at her. “I will see you tonight,” I tell her and she stands up and kisses my cheek.
I know what you’re thinking. I’m crushing hard on my friend’s boyfriend. And even if that might be half-true, technically I saw him first. Though, I guess that doesn’t really count for much. Katrina is a friend. She’s not a close friend, but still a friend. She is captain of the cheerleading team, beautiful body with legs that could run for days. Blonde hair that looks like she spends all day in the sun to get that perfect look. Smallish boobs and a one hundred dollar smile that just makes you do whatever she’s asking.
I haven’t known her long, one year to be exact. That’s when I started here. I transferred from California to get away from my life and I thought Texas would do that for me. Somewhere to drown out my annoying ex-boyfriend, though my grandfather is still there and he’s who I will miss the most. You’re probably wondering why I mentioned my grandfather? Well, the answer to that is long and painful, and it’s something I’m not particularly interested in anymore. My grandfather raised me from when I was a baby. He is my constant.
I’m different from most girls I hang around with at school. They all have perfect hair, perfect clothes. Most are beautiful inside as well as out, even Katrina. Me, well… I’m different. My hair is colored brightly nearly every week. This week it’s pastel pink, last week it was purple. I’m shorter than most of the girls and I have thick legs, which is mostly from dancing. Dancing is my escape and I’ve danced for as long as I can remember. My grandfather once told me that as soon as I was walking, I was dancing. He loved to watch me lose control to the music, the way it pulls me in and makes me forget the world. I used to dance four days a week, alternating between hip-hop, contemporary and even tango. I wanted to learn them all, but I didn’t choose to major in dancing. That, my grandfather was very disappointed in. He told me once I was put on this earth to dance and that I shouldn’t hide it from anyone. I do though, I hide it from everyone.
I feel like that is a part of me that’s just me. That no one here knows and can judge me on it. If I have a bad day, I usually sneak off to the gym once everyone has left and bring my beats. When I dance, I need the music so loud that it’s all I can hear or think about. I don’t want voices while the artist is taking control of me with his or her voice. I want to get lost in it.
As I step out of the cafeteria, I head outside to take a seat on the grass. It’s so green and lush here compared to California. I take off my ballet slippers and place my feet in the cool, lavish green grass. I wiggle my toes in it and lie back. My mind automatically goes to him… Tanner, and I can’t help the smile that forms on my lips. He’s a quarterback on the football team and absolutely heavenly. The captain of the team is his best mate, Kyrone. Kyrone is a douche, a complete and utter asshole. Most girls fall at his feet. He’s the ultimate playboy and he knows it. Though to this day, I’ve never seen him with a girlfriend. Which is odd, since he has his pick of girls lined up.
Tanner has been with Katrina for almost three months now and does not look like he will stray from her. I think he’s infatuated with her. Even though their so-called couple status may piss me off inside, it actually makes me want to scream it from the rooftops. I know I can’t. They’re both too good, such nice people. He has charm, so much charm that when he smiles at you, you can’t help but smile like a girl with a crush on the ultimate boy in school.
“Why on earth are you lying in the grass?” Hillary shrieks behind me. I open my eyes and smile up at her. She’s much like Katrina, except she has brown wavy hair and is just a bit shorter. Not as short as me, but shorter than her. I open my eyes to tell her a lie when another figure steps up next to her. My mouth closes and I can’t remember the question as I stare at Tanner smiling down at me.
“I thought you had class, CJ?” Tanner asks, smiling down at me as he takes a seat beside me on the grass. As Hillary huffs and walks off I look for Katrina but don’t see her. “She went to practice, no need to run now,” Tanner says, nudging me as he lies down on the soft grass. I close my eyes and breathe in heavily. His cologne floods my senses and it makes me nervous at just how close he is, even though he’s one of my closest friends here.
“Why do you always run? Where do you go after school?” he asks surprising me. I turn to face him and notice he’s already looking at me. I feel my cheeks start to heat and turn my head, so I’m not looking into his perfect face. He has a pretty boy face, and though that usually doesn’t attract me, but in him, it does. He totally pulls it off.
“Just… around,” I reply trying to remember the question as I answer him. I see his shadow move and I turn to face him as he lays on his belly, hands under his chin.
“You won’t tell me?” he asks sounding astonished. I laugh at his eagerness as he’s asked me this before, but I’ve just brushed him off. “What can I do to persuade you?” He leans closer, so he’s nearly looming over me and right then I want to tell him. I want to tell him that watching him with her makes me feel all kinds of things, but mostly jealousy. But I don’t.
“Me? Persuade me?” I laugh and look back up to the sky.
“I might just stalk you one day,” he says teasingly, lying back on his hands.
“Do you have practice?” I ask, changing the subject.
“Yes, don’t remind me,” he huffs into his hands. I laugh at him and stand up. I have to make it to English before I’m last in class, yet again. He stares as I move and sits up so he’s watching me. “Why are you running now?” he asks half joking.
“Well, if you ever want to see me again, I need to get my ass to class. I’ve been slacking too much and need to pull my grades up for finals,” I say huffing as I stand and look back down at him one more time.
“I always want to see you. Just have to keep you in the same spot long enough before you run away on me,” he says, standing up. “I might just do what I said and stalk you one day. To see what the girl with colorful hair gets up to,” he says, leaning in for a quick hug before he takes off. I try to calm my racing heart as I make a run for my class that I’m more than likely late for.

My back is covered with sweat, my hair is soaked and I feel fucking great. Dancing does that to me. Having a bad day? Tune everything else out and let your body take over, it knows what to do. As I grab my portable beats, I stop the track on my phone and my head snaps up as the door to the gym closes. I look around to see if anyone saw me and can’t see anyone else in here. I think back to the other day when Tanner said he would stalk me and wonder if it was him. I know it wasn’t though, as he was wrapped up in Katrina after our last class together and I, of course, had to leave that situation.
As I make my way out of the gym, I spot Kyrone leaning outside on the wall. I stop dead in my tracks and hope it wasn’t him that walked in. I glare at him as I pull my backpack tighter around my shoulder and he smirks down at me.
“Nice moves, Christina,” he says, and to my ultimate humiliation, I now know it was him. I can’t believe he just called me that. No one calls me that, not even my grandfather.
“Whatever,” I say and start to walk off. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not embarrassed to be seen dancing. I love it. I just didn’t want people to know why I always escape and where I go to do it. “Hey, wait up,” he says, catching up to me. I try to speed up to get as far away from him as possible and he laughs when he reaches me. I know, stupid idea running from the captain of the football team, who is constantly running.
I look at him as he starts a steady pace next to me. He is handsome, I can’t deny that. His hair is almost black and he has beautiful cheekbones that look like they have been airbrushed and he has the body to match. He smiles when he catches me looking at him and I notice he has one dimple on the side of his left cheek.
“Where’s the fire?” he asks, looking around and joking with me while I’m trying to get away from him. My face scrunches up and I try hard to hide my annoyance at him. “So, you got a thing for Tanner?” he asks casually. I stop dead in my tracks and stare at him. He’s smiling brightly now.
“What is your problem?” I scream. He’s always like this to me. He likes to annoy and antagonize me by getting on my every nerve until I snap at him, then he laughs at me as he walks off. This time, his head drops to the side and he looks at me curiously. I wish he would treat me like the other girls. He doesn’t though because basically he just likes to piss me off.
“What is your problem, Kyrone? What kind of name is that anyway? Was your mother so drugged up after her labor she forgot what she wrote on your birth certificate?” Okay, so that might have been a bit harsh, but this guy just gets up my goat. Maybe I’m a little too defensive, but I’m not telling that ass anything.
“Easy there, Pink Bits,” he says raising his hands in a mock surrender. “You’re so cute when you growl at me,” he says, lowering his hands and turning in the other direction. I huff out with annoyance for all things Kyrone and start to walk off, when I hear him yell out, “Next time, strip,” he says and I can hear the chuckle that follows him as he walks further away. Seriously, one day I am going to knee that prick in the balls.
Once I’m showered and lying on my bed relaxing, the girls walk in, all dolled up with makeup covering their faces and in short, short dresses.
“CJ, you have to come tonight,” Hillary says, sitting on the end of my bed. I share a room with her and I really do like her. Just not when she tries to convince me to go to a fucking frat party with guys only wanting one thing.
“No,” I say, then pick my phone up.
“Come on, it’s not at the frat house tonight. Guaranteed there is a party happening there, but tonight we are heading to Tanner’s.” Katrina claps excitedly. My interest is peaked at hearing his name.
“Just this once, I would like to dance and drink with you,” Hillary says, looking at me with her massive brown eyes. I swing my legs off the bed and they all clap excitedly.
“If it sucks, I’m leaving,” I retort as I pull a pair of skinny jeans from my drawer. I drop my PJ bottoms and slide into them, then grab the closest shirt I can find. It happens to be a blue tee that has ‘Take a picture, it lasts longer’ across the front. I then throw my hair up in a messy bun. All the girls turn to me, then look me up and down.
“If you even think I’m wearing what you are, you’re seriously mistaken,” I say and grab my keys as I walk toward the door.
“It’s going to be so much fun!” Hillary claps, hooking her arm through mine.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not a person that stays at home and hates to party. I did it for years. Hell, I did it so much, I usually went to class drunk the next day, but I’ve changed, and during my time in Texas I haven’t partied once. It’s totally by choice because there have been numerous times that I could’ve gone with the hard liquid burning my throat and been taken to a much happier place, but I chose not to. I need to pull my stupid grades up so I can do something with myself, and in the process make my grandfather proud.
As we step into Tanner’s house, it’s packed… like, crazy packed. I’ve only been here a few times and usually it’s quiet, but tonight it’s busier than fucking frat party. I push my way through and follow the girls to where they’re going. I notice Tanner straight away talking to his teammates out near the pool with a keg next to them. Katrina notices Tanner next and runs out to them and jumps in Tanner’s arms. He grabs her and places her down softly on the ground and then bestows a soft kiss on her mouth. All the girls head out to where the boys are located and I follow. I quite like most of them, except Kyrone, of course. Tanner sees me when I walk out the back door and his arms drop from Katrina as he walks over to me.
“You came?” he asks, sounding surprised. I guess it is a surprise since I’m usually at home or coming after the party to pick the girls up. I nod my head and he seems happy. He then turns back, so Katrina immediately falls back into his arms.
I look around to see if there is anyone here I know and notice a makeshift dance floor in, what I guess, is the living room. I can feel my need taking over and my body starts moving ever so slightly to the rhythm of the song. I decided against it because most people out on the dance floor are either grinding up against each other or jumping up and down like idiots. I laugh when a guy jumps too high and knocks his head on the light fixture that is hanging low from the ceiling.
“I love you,” I hear when I turn back to face the group. Everyone falls silent. I watch as Katrina covers her mouth and looks down at her feet. Tanner looks shocked at first and it takes me a second to realize it was her that’s spoken those words. He places a finger under her chin and lifts it up. Her eyes are filled with unshed tears, but she doesn’t take the words back.
“I love you too,” Tanner says and everyone starts cheering. Except me. I’m shocked and stunned and most definitely hurt. Tanner’s eyes find mine as he pulls Katrina in for a hug and I manage a small smile before I turn to walk away.
Now is probably the time to tell you I kissed him once and he kissed me. We were hanging in his room one night watching movies. This was before he got with Katrina. All of a sudden, Tanner stopped the movie and I looked at him, shocked.
“I have to do this before I lose the nerve,” he said, and then his lips were on mine. Kissing, licking and making me swoon. I remember the look on his face when he stopped; it was happy, but mine remained shocked. Simply because I had wanted those lips on me since I first laid eyes on him. He apologized straight after and told me he would never do it again. I was still too shocked for words. My head was in dreamland and my mouth just wouldn’t operate. When I came around, he was walking out. He turned to me before he left.
“You’re one of my best friends and I don’t want what I did to ruin it.”
Oh God, it so didn’t, but I guess now I think about it well, yes it did. So now I don’t come around much to his house, actually hardly ever. That’s why he was surprised to see me here, and plus, I don’t usually party.
I walk to the kitchen and try to find alcohol. I feel the need for it for some reason. Even though I know why I’m feeling this way, I’m not going to admit it to myself.
“How sweet are they? I knew they loved each other,” Hillary says, following behind me. I don’t answer and start opening cupboards looking for the hard stuff. “What are you looking for?” she asks, as I start to pull every cupboard open.
“Bingo,” I say and I reach for the tequila stashed at the back of the cupboard. Hillary gives me an odd look, then shrugs her shoulders.
I end up walking back outside, far from where the happy couple are sitting on the grass and open the bottle. Hillary stands in front of me and looks annoyed. I know she won’t sit on the grass, hence the reason I’m sitting on the grass.
“You going to share?” she asks, looking down at me. I take another large gulp and hand it up to her. She reaches for it and swigs it back. I hear her cough and I laugh. She’s so uppity; I wonder why she comes to these parties. She prefers the girly drinks. Most frat parties only have beer.
“Yuck, CJ!” she spits and looks down at me. I put the bottle back to my mouth and drink some more. “I’ll be back, I’m going to get a drink that’s more me,” she says, as her heels sink into the grass while she walks away. I watch her and the guys as they take notice when she walks past them. She’s quite beautiful, but just doesn’t want to settle down yet.
By the time she’s back, I’ve drunk half the bottle. She asks for another sip and I hand it up to her. She gasps when she sees how much I’ve drunk and shakes her head at me. My response is a simple shrug of my shoulders.
“No more CJ,” she says, placing the lid back on the top of the bottle.
“What am I meant to do now?” I whine. Yes, I just whined like a child.
“We dance!” she says excitedly and I laugh.
“You are so dancing with me and we are going to own it by shaking our asses off… all night… looong,” she says drawing out the last word. I smile up at her and go to stand. Shit! That was a terrible idea. I now realize how much I’ve actually drunk as the alcohol starts to take full effect.
“Shit,” Hillary says. I laugh as she reaches out to steady me. “Maybe I should just take you home,” she says softly. I look past her and see the happy couple kissing and hugging and this time I’m not going to run.
“No, I want to dance. Do you think you can keep up?” I ask and her face turns serious. She nods and we make our way inside to where the pounding music is vibrating through my body.

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