A Sample of Sasha’s Demons by T.L Smith
Copyright 2014 TL Smith
All Rights Reserved
This book is a work of fiction. Any references to real events, real people, and real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places and incidents are products of the Author’s imagination and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, organisations or places is entirely coincidental.
All rights are reserved. This book is intended for the purchaser of this e-book ONLY. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any information storage retrieval system, without the express written permission of the Author. All songs, song titles and lyrics contained in this book are the property of the respective songwriters and copyright holders.
This e-book contains sexually explicit scenes and adult language and may be considered offensive to some readers. This e-book is intended for adults ONLY. Please store your files wisely, where they cannot be accessed by under-aged readers.
Cover – http://www.covertocoverdesigns.com
Formatting – https://www.facebook.com/pages/Angels-Indie-formatting
Editing by Swish Design & Editing
Proofread – KMS Editing
Cover image Copyright 2014
There are always so many to thank in this part of the book and most of the time it’s so hard naming everyone. But first and foremost, I want to thank all you sexy readers for reading Sasha’s Dilemma I know I have made most of you cry and I don’t apologize for that, LOL. Yes, I am evil.
Readers – You are my personal rockstars.
But I hope this one makes you smile, and maybe still, a little bit cry. Because that wouldn’t be me otherwise. I thank you all for your lovely messages regarding Sasha’s Dilemma I have read each and every one of them and they make my heart sore that I have touched some of you.
Second, I need to thank my friends and family for their constant support, I may not have as much time as I usually did and I am glad most of you understand. So thank you and I love each and every one of you.
To my street team, you girls seriously rock pimping me non-stop and coming up with ideas when my brain is elsewhere.
To my Author gals – Love you all so much; you have made this ride just that bit smoother.
Lila Rose – My number 1 Bitch
Simone Nicole – My home girl
Angel Steel – My sugar lips
C.M Owens – My soon to be drinking buddy
Tara Brown, Becca Lee, Ryleigh Rhodes, Elizabeth Kelly and K.E Osborn. I am sure there are plenty more, but my brain is fried. So, thank you again, to you all.
To Cover to Cover Designs – You did it again and I love it.
James my cover model, thank you so much for putting up with me while we used your body.
To KL, thanks for your endless support. I may not show you all the time what you mean to me, but I think you know it.
Bloggers, I hate to think where we would be without you all. So thank you for constant support and constant pimping that you do for all us authors. Smooches to you all.
And last, but not least to the lady that fixes all my bad grammar, Kaylene. Love you hard woman.
A Note for the Reader.
This book has been written using UK English and contains euphemisms and slang words that form part of the Australian spoken word, which is the basis of this book’s writing style.
Please remember, that the words are not misspelled, they are slang terms and are part of the everyday, Australian lifestyle. This book has been written using UK English.
If you would like further explanation, or to discuss the translation or meaning of a particular word, please do not hesitate to contact the author – contact details have been provided, for your convenience, at the end of this book.
I hope you enjoy a look into the Australian way of life.
Stone Sour – ‘Wicked Game’
Kim Cesarion – ‘Undressed’
Life House – ‘You and Me’
Bruno Mars – ‘I Think I Want To Marry You’
John Legend – ‘All of me’
Ed Sheeran – ‘Give me Love’
Walking Warriors – ‘Demons’
I have dedicated this book to Kayla, simply because she has threatened bodily harm on anyone that tries to take Brax from her.
It hurts too much, way too much. I don’t know how to rid myself of this stabbing pain in my heart. He left, he just left me. It may not have been his choice, but that doesn’t mean anything. It still hurts all the same.
I lay in his bed, not moving, not eating. Hell, trying not to even think. I just sleep.
People come and visit, trying to help me move, but I don’t see the point.
Eventually, I realize I must move. I still have a job to perform and friends who love and are worried about me. I’ll try for them. I just hope they don’t expect too much because I don’t know how much I can actually give of myself.
I can’t wrap my head around what is in front of me. A part of me wants to run into his arms and the other part wants to slam the door in his face. He has the nerve to come to my home without an invite. I’m guessing my annoying but loveable cousin has called him, so that would be the reason he’s on my doorstep because I sure as hell didn’t give him my address.
I stand there taking him in, without saying a word or letting him come any further than the door. His hair is shiny and nicely styled with clipped sides and a bit of length on top, but he leaves enough room for fingers to run through it and give it a pull, because that’s what he’s doing at this particular moment. He’s bigger than the last time I saw him and his shirt doesn’t do him justice because it doesn’t cling to his toned body. His facial expression show his excitement and pity, and I’m ready to slam the door hard in his face. I don’t need anyone to show me pity. I’m fine, and by fine I mean I go to work, I pay my bills, and I party.
“Sasha, can I come in,” he says, looking intensely into my eyes. I swear he’s piercing my soul and stealing my thoughts at the same time. His eyes are so beautiful I could lose myself in them.
Instead of asking him in, I place my hand on my hip and with an ‘I don’t want your fucking pity’ glare, I answer him, “Why are you here, Brax? We’ve said everything there is to say, so please explain?”
He rakes his fingers through his hair again and peers into my eyes before answering, “I just wanted to check how you’re doing.”
“I’m fine! Now if that’s all, you’re welcome to leave the same way you arrived.” I slam the door in his face and pad to my bedroom to find my phone. I’m about to give that cousin of mine a stern talking to. He answers on the first ring.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I bark, yelling into the phone.
“Calm down, Sash. I was only trying to get you out of your funk.”
“I’m not in a funk, I’m mourning, so mind your own bloody business.”
I can hear him breathing heavily into the phone, obviously holding back his words. “Okay, alright, I won’t interfere again, but you know I’m here for you anytime.”
How can I stay mad at him when he pulls the sweet talk card?
“Yes, I know. Okay, I have to go and meet up with someone. We’ll talk later.”
I hear him say heloves me as I hang up.
* * *
It’s Friday night and I’m getting ready to go out. I slip on my little black dress and while I’m putting on my killer heels, I hear a knock on the door. Quickly, I move to open the it and I find Lola, Blake and Adam standing there, all dressed and ready to go. It took me a while to get to where I am now. It’ll be awesome to hang out again. The first few times we all went out together, they would slip up and mention Josh, and when they did, I would freeze like a deer in the headlights. It would feel like as soon as his name was mentioned, my mind would immediately flash back, followed quickly by my chest tightening, making it really hard to breathe.
I feel better now than what I used to. I decided to take up boxing and all my rage now goes into the punching bags. It is my main outlet. Not long after he passed away, it was the only way I could take out my anger and believe me I had a lot of anger. Basically, I realized I was dealing with it the wrong way.
“Sash, you look lovely.”
Adam whistles and agrees with Blake’s comment. I peek up at them from behind my lashes, smile and lean over to grab my bag from the table. I haven’t taken a lot of time to get ready. My hair is blonde and hanging down in curls and I’ve applied minimal makeup. My body is a lot more defined now, thanks to all the hours I’ve spent at the gym. I follow them downstairs and we all move into Blake’s car and head towards his nightclub in the city.
We all walk straight into Blake’s bar. It’s packed, and we’re struggling to get through to the bar so we can grab a drink. Instead, Blake guides us to the VIP booth at the back of the bar and a waiter comes across to take our drink order. Blake orders for Lola and I wonder how their relationship is going. If you can even call it that! They still deny having any sort of relationship and claim to be strictly friends, but you would have to be blind not to see how they look at each other. Adam is his usual quiet self, which I love, because our conversations are never awkward. We understand each other really well. I spend a lot of time with him actually, more than anyone else. Our relationship is easy and never uncomfortable, plus my beautiful goddaughter makes me smile when I’m having a difficult day. Adam gets hit on quite a lot, but as far as I know he isn’t interested in anyone, and I really hope he does find someone to love again – not just for him, but also for Kasey.
The night is going great and I’m having fun. I’ve had a few dances with Lola and the guys. They’ve all gone to get another round of drinks from the bar and have left me on my own. I think I’ve been dancing for a while because my throat feels dry. I decide I better go and catch up with them when I suddenly feel like I’m being watched. I try not to take any notice as we are, after all, in a busy bar and I know a few people here, but when I get to the bar I can feel someone standing really close next to me. I don’t bother to check who it is. I just stand there in my own world because I’m not in the mood to be hit on tonight. I order my drink, and then realize the person that was next me isn’t there anymore. I turn around to go find the others when I slam into a hard, muscled body and spill my drink all over the two of us.
“Fuckin’ great,” I mutter under my breath, and my eyes travel up this toned physique to find a black shirt clinging to an extremely sculpted body and I realize he obviously got the shit end of the drink. His hands are still on my hips from when I slammed into him, and as I raise my head, I am met with very familiar eyes boring straight at me.
He leans into my ear and whispers, but I don’t hear a single word because all I can feel is his hot breath, which is sending goose bumps all over my body. I raise an eyebrow and he repeats what he just asked, “Are you okay?”
Before an answer leaves my lips, a beautiful woman with strikingly long straight black hair comes and attaches herself to his arm. He turns his attention to her and before I give this wet T-shirt competition a second thought, I hightail it away from him to find my friends. I eventually find them sitting back in a booth drinking, talking and laughing.
“So, you just up and leave me, huh?”
Adam grabs my arm and pulls me down to sit next to him and then wraps his arm around my shoulder. “We would never leave ya, Sash.”
“Who were you talking to at the bar, Sis?” I give her a questioning glance and realize she must be referring to Brax. I don’t want to discuss it, so I just shrug my shoulders. Blake starts a conversation and I’m half listening and half searching my surroundings for Brax. Is he still here? So far I’ve not seen him.
The night has turned out really good and I’ve had fun. We basically just stayed in our booth and chatted. On our way out Blake stops to talk to someone. I don’t realize who it is, but Lola is staring at me with an odd expression on her face.
I decide to go straight past them and wait out front to get some fresh air. That’s when I notice who he’s talking to. I hadn’t seen him for the most of the night, so I assumed he’d left. He sees me walking past and he’s fixed on me, his eyes are holding me captive and I have to mentally slap myself to look away. Blake notices Brax staring at me and introduces us.
“We have met actually, haven’t we, Sash?” Brax says, with a sexy grin on his face
“Yes, we have. Nice to meet you again,” I say, while I start to make my way out the front.
I’m out front when Lola comes to stand beside me. “Did you know he would be here?” she asks in a hushed tone.
“No, Lola. How would I know that?” I question a bit more aggressively than I probably should have. That’s when Blake and Adam catch up to us.
“Sash, I didn’t realize you knew who Brax was,” Blake exclaims sounding surprised.
“Yes, he’s friends with my cousins.” I try to say as little as possible, but Lola hits me with a glare like she knows I’m lying.
After a great night out we head home without any more drama.
* * *
I’m home and undressed when I hear a knock on my door. I’m pondering whether to answer or just ignore it, but the knocking doesn’t stop. I swing open the door and am instantly hit with a déjà vu moment.
“Well, aren’t I a lucky girl tonight,” I say with a sexy drawl. He hasn’t changed his clothes and he’s drawing me in with his lust filled eyes. I snap my fingers in his face to get his attention. His head shoots up from my body and a slow, sexy smile creeps across his face. I don’t know if his smile is because he’s imagining what’s behind my skimpy attire or he’s just had too many drinks, either way it’s a turn on.
“Are you going to invite me in this time? Or are we gonna have a conversation at the door again?”
“The door sounds good,” I say with a smirk.
“Look, I just wanted to come over and chat. Why won’t you allow me in?” His face has dropped and I start to feel a little sorry for him, but I’m not going to be played by his games ever again.
“Well, hunny, if you wanted to chat you came to the wrong fucking apartment. Why don’t you run along and find your little friend.” I go to shut the door, but he blocks it by placing his foot in the way. I glance up at him like he’s lost his bloody mind, and I notice his pursed lips and a piercing glare, like he’s about to cause some serious destruction. He’s going to blow a gasket.
“What’s your fucking problem?” Brax screams.
It makes me so wild I scream back, “You’re my fucking problem, now fuck off.”
He starts to shake his head like he’s trying to rid it of his anger. I try to shut the door again, but his foot is still in the way and it’s blocking the door from shutting.
“You will talk to me, Sash. I just wanna know how you’re doing and be a part of your life, but for some reason you have your ‘bitch mode’ switched on, full capacity by the way. So, I’m going to back off… for tonight.” He moves his foot out of the way, turns and starts to walk away. And, when it all finally clicks in place regarding what he’s just said, I walk out and decide to have the last say.
“Did you ever think I have enough friends in my life? I don’t need any more.”
He stops in his tracks, turns around and one side of his mouth curves up into a lopsided smile.
“Oh, I know you do, but I ain’t planning on being friends for long. Bye, Sash.” And with his parting words, he’s in the elevator and the doors are shutting. His eyes don’t leave mine until the doors are completely shut.
I walk back to my apartment in a daze while trying to work out what that all meant. I have, no bloody idea. He wants to talk and be friends, but not for long? So help me God, he better not be thinking of anything more.
* * *
I wake up the next morning to more knocking on my door. Arghhh, I seriously need to move and not tell a living soul where I bloody live. I quickly pull on some yoga pants and reluctantly open the door. There’s a delivery guy standing there holding two bunches of flowers, each containing a dozen pink roses.
“Delivery for Miss Sasha Adams.”
I take the roses inside and take out the little card attached.
To a beautiful girl who deserves beautiful roses xx
I seriously don’t know what game he’s playing, but I know straight away they are from Brax. What the fuck is he playing at? He has a woman and here he is sending me roses.
I’ve decided that today I’m doing absolutely nothing, but curling up on my couch and reading a good book, preferably one that isn’t about love. That is, just not my cup of tea, at the moment. I must’ve dosed off because I’m waking to yet another knock on my door. I reluctantly pull myself off the couch and walk to the door. I open it to Josh’s parents. Every time I lay eyes on his dad, my heart constricts. They have so many alike features that it’s almost uncanny.
“Sasha, would you mind if we came in?” Sandy asks looking straight at me. I usher them in and they follow me to the living room. Once we’ve taken a seat, we seem to be lost in our own worlds, until John says something I wasn’t expecting.
“Josh’s lawyer has been in contact and is trying to get hold of you.”
“Why on earth would he want to contact me?” I ask, because I seriously want to know why.
“Josh has left you some things in his Will, and his lawyer needs you to sign the forms to finalize everything.”
I’m dumbfounded. Too shocked to say anything. What on earth did he leave me? I never signed those forms for the house.
“Ok…. Well, I guess you can give him my number.” They both nod and then ask me how I’ve been lately and though it’s lovely to catch up with them, it’s painful at the same time. Sandy and John ask me out to lunch. I’m getting presentable to go and have lunch with them when I hear yet another knock on the door. Honestly, what the hell is going on?
I’m up and down like a whore’s drawers, I think to myself.
I hear John call out that he will get it. I pull on a pair of skinny jeans and a nice fitting shirt and throw my hair up in a messy bun. I walk back into the living room to check who it is and stop dead in my tracks. He’s here again and chatting with Josh’s parents. I’m too shocked to speak until Sandy stands up and walks over to me.
“Is this the man who sent you those beautiful roses?” she asks. I feel strange because I’m not sure if I should tell her or not. I decide to nod my head without saying a word.
Sandy speaks softly, “He’s quite lovely, Sasha. You know, you can move on. Don’t let anyone hold you back. Josh wouldn’t want that. He loved you too much to have you unhappy.” She’s definitely encouraging me to move on, but the feelings I have for Josh didn’t just disappear with his death. I follow her into the living room in time to hear John invite Brax out for lunch. I glare at him and give him my biggest death stare possible, without Sandy or John noticing. He just winks at me, the infuriating bastard.
We all walk to the restaurant, John and Brax walk in front of us and I can hear them talking. Sandy keeps on sending me questioning glances, but I just smile and brush it off. I can tell she wants the gossip with regards to Brax, but I don’t want to discuss it, so I continue to be coy.
Lunch has turned out to be not so bad. Brax has hardly spoken to me and is talking with John about his business ventures. They ask Brax what he does for a living and he tells them he’s in the music industry. Just as he states it two young girls move nervously toward him and ask for an autograph. He signs one girl’s arm and the other hands him a napkin. He turns to see me watching the whole exchange. He smiles that mouth-watering smile at me and then turns his attention back to John and Sandy. My cheeks are flushed and I know Sandy saw the whole exchange because she gives my hand a squeeze under the table.
“So, Brax do you live here or just passing through?” John questions out of curiosity.
“No, sir, I don’t, but I’ll be here for quite some time because we’re recording at the moment.” Brax is so polite, I’ve forgotten that’s how he usually acts. Although when he looks at me it makes me feel like he’d want nothing better than to tie me to my bed, pull out a whip and take care of my attitude.
“Oh, wonderful. Is your girlfriend staying with you?”
My head whips around to Sandy who’s straight to the point trying to dig up some information.
“No, actually, I’m not seeing anyone at the moment, but hopefully that will change soon.” Brax is smirking again. Argh, I can’t decide whether to punch him in the face now or later. My internal debate is on.
“Oh, but Brax, what about the beautiful lady that was on your arm at Gossip? I’m sure she’d willingly take you up on that opportunity,” I say, a little bit too sarcastically and I notice he’s holding back by biting the inside of his lip. However, instead of replying he just smiles.
“Oh, you know me, Sash. We both know she wasn’t going to make the cut, I have a thing for blondes.”
“Alright, Sasha, we have to be off. Don’t forget the lawyer will ring you on Monday. Okay, sweetie?” Sandy leans down and kisses me on the cheek and John repeats the same action on the other.
“It was lovely to meet you, Brax. Hopefully when Sasha comes to visit next she’ll bring you, too.” Sandy is really acting out the matchmaker role.
“Oh, I would love to. I’m sure Sasha won’t mind either.”
Okay…. Okay…. Calm down before my fist starts to fly, I think to myself.