A Sample of Sasha’s Dilemma by T.L Smith


Copyright 2014 TL Smith

All Rights Reserved

This book is a work of fiction. Any references to real events, real people, and real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places and incidents are products of the Author’s imagination and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, organisations or places is entirely coincidental.

All rights are reserved. This book is intended for the purchaser of this e-book ONLY. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any information storage retrieval system, without the express written permission of the Author. All songs, song titles and lyrics contained in this book are the property of the respective songwriters and copyright holders.


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Cover Photographer: Laura Jane



 To my mother, who has been my biggest cheerleader through life, and is always there for me no matter what. You have been both a mother and father, and for that, I thank you.



I never understood why Mumma always cried when one of the guys she was seeing left her. She would sit in the same spot for a week and not move, just cry and cry. But then, she met a businessman and announced her plan to marry. My sister and I were so happy for her. We didn’t like to see her crying all the time, and now Mumma was always smiling.
When we were thirteen, we came home from school one day and found her throwing away and destroying everything in the house. When she spotted us, she turned around and pointed, “If I didn’t have you two, we would be married now! But no, he couldn’t take on two kids. He wanted someone with no commitments. So thanks, girls, you just made the man I love leave me.”
She left us that night and for two weeks, we had to look after ourselves. During the second week, I saw Lola going through the cupboards for something to eat, but came out empty handed. She turned around and tried to give me her best smile, but didn’t quite succeed. She walked over and grabbed my hand, giving it a squeeze.
“Lola, when do you think Mumma is coming home? I’m getting hungry.”
“I don’t know, Sash, hopefully soon.”
We went to bed starving; we hadn’t had a proper meal in over a week. Later that night, I heard arguing and tried to be as quiet as possible when I opened my door to see where it was coming from. I looked up and saw Lola standing there looking out her door, too. We heard our mother’s voice and raced downstairs. She was on her hands and knees begging the businessman not to leave her. We stood there watching, until the man saw us and shook her off. He turned and walked out the door, slamming it in the process.
I walked over and placed my hand on Mum’s shoulder. “Mumma, did you bring food?”
She turned around and gave us the most hateful look I’d ever seen.
“No, I didn’t. Girls, get back to bed.”
Lola pulled on my arm, took me back to her room with her and stroked my hair until I fell asleep. I woke with a start when I heard people rushing around in our house. Frightened, I ran out of the room to find out what was happening. Men in uniform were everywhere, and then I saw Mum on a table being carried out by the paramedics. I looked at Mum; blood covered her wrists. I tried to run to her, but Lola wrapped her arms around me.
“Come on, Sash, let’s get ready for school.”
“What happened?”
“Mum was very upset about that man not loving her.”
“I never want a man to love me, Lola.” I decided right then.
And that has been my goal for as long as I can remember. I never want what my mother went through, so I AM NEVER FALLING IN LOVE.

Chapter 1

What am I going to do with her?
That was my first thought as I walked into our apartment. The bitch has left condom wrappers and clothes everywhere. Arghhh! I could kill her. Who does she think she is? Oh, that’s right, my pain in the ass, bloody sister. Stuff this shit! She is getting up, and I’m kicking out whoever she has in our bloody room. I am not sleeping in there with her drunk off her ass and playing hanky-panky with some dude I’ve probably never met (oh, and she probably hasn’t either). She’s getting the fuck up! I ain’t covering for her ass again! “LOLA! LOLA, GET UP!” I scream at her.
Her new friend rolls over onto his stomach, oblivious to my presence. Throwing a pillow over his head, he manages to de-sheet himself in the process. Damn, that backside isn’t bad looking. She always gets the hotties. I’m not complaining, it’s nice to look at, but I need to study and she needs to get her ass up and go to college for her first class.
Lola is studying to be a teacher. She is bloody smart as shit, that’s what pisses me off about her. I have to study my ass off, and she just breezes through like it’s nothing. For example, she was out all night getting smashed and picks up some good looking random, whilst I got to spend my Monday night reading textbooks until I had to practically tape my eyes open. She says it’s to help her relax, but I just call her bullshit.
We are in our third year of college, and she needs to get her act together. There isn’t much of an age difference between the two of us. She is twenty-two and I’m twenty-one. We are exactly eleven months apart. Some probably think our mum was a busy girl; well, indeed she was. I don’t have a close relationship with our mother. She is always in and out of relationships, and I’ve never seen her in a steady one in all my life. Every time she had a man, we were always neglected. When they left her, which they always did, we were to blame for it. It always became our fault that her relationships never worked. She has tried to commit suicide several times because some bastard broke her heart. Lola and I are always left to pick up the pieces until the next poor asshole comes along, which they always do. My sister and I have been accustomed ever since I can remember to this cycle. I don’t know why we bother anymore. She doesn’t care or takes notice of anything we do. Some mother we have, if you could call her that.
I never want to fall in love, and I will never allow myself to get as low as she has. Lola and I don’t have the same father, and we look nothing alike. I’m sandy-blonde, five-feet-five, blue eyes, not chubby, but also not a rake. I have a booty and my mother’s DD cups. Lola is my opposite at five-feet-nine; raven black hair, beautiful, white creamy skin, and a perfect figure to match. It’s Lola’s eyes that draw people in. They completely stand out against her black hair. She has our mother’s eyes. They are a see-through, light green, and in one word … enchanting. I’m pretty sure she captures men with her eyes and doesn’t let them go until she blinks.
Lola looks up at me and tries to give a ’fuck off’ stare. I just roll my eyes at her.
“Lola, you need to get up.”
“No, I don’t. Fuck off, Sasha!”
“Yes, you do. Now get your ass off that fucking bed and get up and get dressed. You’re gonna be late again!”
The guy lying next to her stirs, looks up at me, and says, “Who the hell are you?”
“Sister, idiot. Now get out of our apartment so she can get to class!”
I throw his clothes at him. He is still looking back and forth, dumbfounded, like he can’t believe what I just said.
He finally gets his tall, sexy, naked ass out of bed. Instead of covering up, he stands tall, morning wood for all to see, and throws his muscular legs into his faded jeans. He pulls up the zipper, leaving the top button undone, before openly saying, “Hey, babe, next time invite your sister for some fun, too. I love me some threesomes.”
God, the nerve of this guy. I’m standing here staring at this idiot, gorgeous idiot, but still an idiot. Honestly, some of the people she brings home amaze me.
“You bloody idiot, get your shit and get out,” I yell at him.
Lola rolls over and tells her hook-up, “Thanks for last night, hotness.” Lola adds with a wink. I don’t know how she does it. I roll my eyes and slam the door shut behind me. Not my idea of a great start to the morning. I swear, I feel like I’m babysitting her half the time.


When we finally get home from a gruelling day of lectures and classes, I flop on the couch and Lola grabs a beer out of the fridge and sits at the bar. “So what’s your plans for tonight?” Lola asks.
“Working at the bar, and then coming back to, hopefully, a quiet apartment to get some sleep.”
Lola smirks at me. “I can be quiet, but I prefer not to be.” God, she does my head in. Arghh! I swear she thinks we run a brothel.
“Well, you should come out after with us. Britney and I are gonna stop by Chica’s while you’re working and, hopefully, go into the city after. What ya say? I’ll wait for ya shift to finish.”
“I don’t know. I don’t really want to go out tonight, especially in my work uniform.”
“Why not? You can’t even tell it’s a uniform, and you haven’t been out for weeks. Please, please, pretty please… You know it won’t be the same without you.”
She does this to me all the time, giving me her best sad eyes and fluttering her long black lashes. It drives me up the wall. I’m not like her. I don’t like to go out and get drunk and high every weekend. Some weekends I prefer to sit on my comfy ass couch and just read. Don’t get me wrong, I love to go out, just not every night (like some).
“Okay, but you have to wait for my shift to finish.”
“Sure, no problem. I’ll have some drinks with Brit while we’re waiting.”
Well, Lola strikes again. Once again, she bats her lashes and she gets her way. She knew I wouldn’t say no to her, bitch!

The bar is so busy tonight, and I’m not sure if I’m gonna get out on time. Hopefully, we die down in an hour or so. Joe and Becca can close tonight. This is my part-time job to help cover for my college fees and everything that goes with my degree. I love working here. It’s an awesome job, and the staff are friendly and a good bunch of people to work with.
“Any plans for tonight?” Joe asks while I am making some shots for a rowdy bachelor party.
“Yeah, Lola, Brit, and I are hitting the city when I finish.”
“Sounds like fun,” he says with an eye roll.
“Yeah, you know how she is, party, party, party.”
Joe looks at me for a while before he says anything. I look him over. He isn’t a bad looking guy. He’s tall with blond hair that looks like he just got out the shower and ran his hands through it. Muscle, but not too much, more like lean surfer muscles and hazel eyes make him good to look at. He’s asked me out before, but I’ve never gone there because we work together. If things didn’t work out, it could get very complicated. Plus, he is a ladies’ man. I don’t want to get messed up in all that.
“Well, have a good night and don’t drink too much,” he tells me with his best stern voice.
“Yes, Father,” I say with sarcasm.
He just flashes me his brilliant smile and walks away to let me finish making these shots. I hand the shots to the men at the bar and they start their advances towards me. “Hey, honey, how about a lap dance? I’ll pay ya!”
“Sorry, guys, wrong bar for that service. Maybe you should go to the strip joint down the road.” I nod towards the door, trying not to lose my temper at these losers.
“Awww, come on, sweetheart, just one please?” they all say in unison.
“Sorry, guys, I don’t want any lawsuits because somebody slips over in your drool.”
I give them a smile and walk away. I’m walking up to the bar, and in walks beauty herself.
“Hey, sis.”
“Hey, Lola. Hey, Brit. You girls are looking mighty fine tonight.”
Brit walks over and gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She is very gorgeous with fiery red hair, green eyes, long runner legs, and a killer smile.
They’re both in short dresses with heels to match. Lola is wearing a blue dress that, I swear, if she bends over, you could see what she had for breakfast. But, of course, she pulls it off. Brit, as always, is in a scarlet red dress to match her hair, and she looks stunning in it.
Me, well, I’m in my work uniform. As usual, I probably look like a bum next to these two. My uniform is denim shorts (close to being daisy dukes) with a short midriff jersey that says “Chica’s” on the front, and a pair of black, knee high boots with a cute heel.
“What do you tarts want to drink? Once I make them, we are out of here.”
“Two vodka and Red Bulls. Thanks, honey.”
I make the girls their drinks and tell Joe I’m off for the night. “I’ll see you next week.”
“All right, catch ya then,” he says casually.
I give Joe a kiss on the cheek and take the girls their drinks before I go and clock off to join them.

Chapter 2

We’re at Indigo and it’s pumping. The music is awesome. I love RnB. I love watching people dance with all these different dance moves. I think that’s the main reason I go out with Lola all the time. Apart from reading, dancing is my all-time favourite thing to do, especially when I have a little alcohol in my system. It’s easier to let go and not care what anyone thinks. Although, I shouldn’t care, I have been dancing my whole life, a little bit of ballet and plenty of RnB. I don’t go all out like Lola and Brit, unless I have a little something to push me, and that’s where my favourite drink, vodka, comes in.
Lola slams her shot glass down on the table, and looks up at us. “Come on, girls, let’s show these peeps how we do it.”
We make our way to the middle of the dance floor as Ke$ha’s new song “Timber” comes on. Once I hear music, I love how my body just takes over, as it knows what it wants to do.
While the girls and I are on the dance floor shaking our hips and having a good time, one of Lola’s guy friends comes over and offers to buy us some drinks.
We have been dancing for what seems like ages and the buzz of the alcohol is starting to wear off. We head to the bar and have some shots of tequila with red bull and vodka chasers. Lola’s friend, Blake, starts up a conversation with us and orders more shots. By this time, I can feel a major buzz and I’m well on my way to being drunk. I don’t like going overboard because I can never remember anything the next day and that is not something I like.
I’m standing here swaying my hips to the music, watching everyone dance, while the girls are chatting away to the guys. I turn back to tell them I’m going to go back to the dance floor when one of Blake’s friends looks at me and smiles. Apparently, I haven’t been paying much attention during the introductions because I’ve never seen him before. I’m standing staring at this man and my whole body freezes. I don’t even notice everyone standing near me. I can just feel his eyes devouring me. He is gorgeous, tanned, and has tattoos up both his arms and a name or saying across his neck. He’s maybe six-feet-tall, with brown hair and beautiful blue eyes. His light blue button-up shirt, rolled up to reveal those tattoos and very muscly arms, looks great with his black slacks. He is by far one of the most stunning men I’ve ever seen. I’m not sure if it’s the alcohol, but WOW! I stand there staring at him like an idiot, daydreaming, and I don’t realise he is walking over to me.
“Hey, the name’s Josh.” He puts his hand out for me to shake. I take his hand and reply, “Hi, I’m Sasha.” He smiles and offers to buy me a drink.
I turn and look back at the girls and Lola has that ‘Oh, my God, he is gorgeous’ look on her face. I just smile and turn back around and tell him what I want to drink. He goes up and orders it, and is back within seconds.
We sit down and small talk as much as we can over the loud music. He is sitting so close I can smell his cologne. God, he smells good. I’m in my own little world when Lola and Brit come over and snap me out of it to ask me to dance. Josh looks up at the girls and I’m expecting him to check them out as they are gorgeous, but he looks straight at me and asks, “Would you like to dance with me?”
I nod my head. How can I say no? I want to see if he could move as good as he looked. We all head on to the dance floor and “Low” by Flo Rida comes on. I start shaking my hips and dancing around him. He grabs hold of my waist and pulls me into him. And, oh boy, can he dance. We dance for a few more songs before we all head back to the bar and grab a few more drinks.


Shit! Shit! Shit! My head is thumping. I turn over to get up and out of bed to go get water and Advil, but smack into a hard body in my bed.
I start to freak out a little. OMG! This is why I don’t drink so much; I end up doing stupid shit. I look at him and realise it’s Josh from the club. Oh, sweet baby Jesus, I wish I remembered this. He stirs and rolls over. I look at him and realise last night didn’t do him any justice. He is still one of the most gorgeous men I have ever seen. His arm tattoos stretch along and go to the top of his chest. He clearly works out hard ‘because he is delicious. Muscles galore, but not bodybuilder, vein popping muscly. Biceps I just want to hold on to, and a defined chest and stomach that makes me want to run my hands over. Perfect. Josh has a distinct smell to him and it fits him perfectly. I want to breathe him in all day. It’s mixed between leather and musk. He opens his beautiful blue eyes and looks at me. “Hey, gorgeous,” he says with a soft smile. I look at him for a while before I answer, “Hi.” It’s all I can seem to get out.
He smiles, pulls me down to cuddle him and I feel his big friend poking me in the stomach saying hello as well. I sit up and tell him I’m going to get some water; he just stretches and smiles at me.
I walk into the kitchen, trying to rack my brain for memories or flashbacks of last night. The last thing I remember is dancing with him. That puts a smile on my face since the boy can dance. I feel a set of arms wrap around me and I instantly know it’s Josh. It feels comforting and I don’t mind having him hold me this morning with the way I am feeling. Another reason I don’t drink; the next morning is a bitch!
“Umm, head’s a bit sore… how about yourself?”
“Great. Did you want to head out for some breakfast?”
“No, I’m good, thanks. Think I’m going to head back to bed.”
“Sorry, don’t mean to sound rude, but did we umm… you know?”
“What? Have sex?” he says with a smirk.
He is still smirking at me. “No, but you definitely tried to.”
“Oh, no.” This is getting embarrassing. I can feel my face heat up. I’m probably the colour of a tomato right now. Great.
“Hey, sis,” Lola says, walking in with a smile on her face and grinning at me, Mole.
“Hey,” I reply, narrowing my eyes at her.
“How you feeling?”
“Like I got hit by a train.”
“Oh, well,” Lola shrugs her shoulders at me and continues on. “Josh, Blake is here and he wants to know if you need a ride home?”
“Yeah, that would be great. I’ll just grab my stuff.”
He turns and walks out of the kitchen back to my bedroom. Lola turns to me and says, “You little slut! Did you hit that last night? Tell me you did! Was he awesome in the sack? I bet he was. He is freakin’ HOT!”
“Arghhh! You fool. I don’t remember anything. How could you let me get that drunk last night?” Lola leans against the counter and starts laughing.
“WHAT?” she chokes out as she continues laughing. I just glare at her. She is pissing me off. I’m not in the mood for her shit this morning.
“I tried to stop you. I even got Josh to carry you out of the club, but you kept on grinding up on him. It was hilarious, you and your drunken horny glory.” She can’t stop laughing and I’m ready to slap her across the face.
“Guess he was a gentleman then and just put you to bed, even after you tried undressing him in the car and jumping on his lap trying to get a little bit of action!” She looks at me and wiggles her eyes up and down before busting out in a laugh again. Why don’t I remember this? I hate the feeling of the unknown and I am mortified. What does Josh think of me? I cannot believe I got THAT drunk! But I wouldn’t change it. Josh can move on the dance floor and is “freakin’ HOT!” as Lola stated.
Just then, Josh walks back in the kitchen, dressed in what he was wearing last night. He looks me up and down and says, “I’ll catch ya later.” He leans in and kisses me on the lips. By the time he and Blake leave, I’m ready to go back to bed and dream about those lips as I try to get rid of this thumping headache.

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